Yours and only yours...

HIM

"All we ever do these days is to sit at cafes and eat. There's nothing else we do. Besides, you will never be there for me" She said. He knew she would say it to him one day. He just didn't know it would happen so soon. But that was three weeks ago.

His mind snapped back to today. And now she sat in front of him, at another cafe, eating happily. She looked at him and asked him what was wrong. "Nothing." He smiled as he pushed in a mouthful of salad. "All we ever do these days, is sit at cafes and eat...." Would she say that to him once again? In a not so distant future?

ME

It was a cloudy evening, just waiting to pour...

I stepped out saying I will be back. All eyes turned towards me. "I'll ask the driver to take you." My hyper active Executive Producer said. It was his habit to pamper me. Too much money had been invested on the project. And he had to make sure it is safe. I said I didn't want a driver. That I'm just going out for a walk and will be back in sometime. "A walk? Are you sure?" asked the EP. It was a cloudy evening, just waiting to pour.... And he knew how much I hated getting wet.

I wanted to walk home, take my car and go meet her. Guilt had been gnawing at me. The poor kid had been through much pain recently. And I just hadn't been around. Ever since the project began, everything had come pouring down. Days had turned into never ending meetings, auditions, location scouting, budgeting. In the middle of it all, lunches, sleep and coffee had become a luxury. Till then, She had been my  day. Everything revolved around her. I looked up at the sky. It was waiting to pour...

I called home. "We didn't know you are coming home! Your father asked the driver to take him to a concert. Your car isn't here." My mother sounded helpless. I was annoyed. I called Her. "I'm sorry I don't have the car. But we can still meet." She gave a pause. "Why don't I just go home? We can meet tomorrow." I said I wanted to see her. I can even walk it to the cafe, but I had to see her. She very reluctantly agreed. 

I started walking. It hadn't begun to pour yet...I reached the cafe and got in. The waiters were familiar with the two of us. It was "our" cafe.There was a slight drizzle outside. I worried if she might get wet...

HER

In a few minutes, she was there. His face lit up. She was looking different than ever before. She was dressed in a green top. Her ears had large earrings. She had done something to her eyes and lips. For once, she had taken great care to dress herself up. He smiled and felt a little guilty. He got to see her so seldom. Maybe she had decided to dress herself for him. There was a slight drizzle outside...

"So how was your day?" he asked her. She blushed. He loved it when she blushed. He felt he owned that blush on her face. She spoke about her classes and how the day went. And blushed a couple of times as she spoke. He couldn't understand what made her blush so much. But he felt happy. The topic turned to her friends and their boyfriends. He smiled, felt sad inside. She would never be able to introduce him to her friends. They would never have a normal life as a couple. He had wrenched a normal life away from her. He joked that maybe she should get a boyfriend. She smiled "I might start seeing someone just to irritate you." He smiled. "When I do start seeing someone, even the other one will be miserable you know." she said. 

The drizzle continued outside. They finished their coffee and stepped out. "I'll get an auto, drop you and go home." he said.

He hailed an "auto". That's what rickshaw cabs were called in his city. It had been a while since he had taken one. He got in first and asked her to sit with him. The auto went through the slight drizzle and the evening traffic. He took her hand in his. She didn't look at him. She was lost elsewhere. Her hand was cold and limp in his. He looked at her. He wanted to say he was sorry for not having enough time for her. But instead  he heard her say "Sorry." "For what my love?" He asked. "Nothing. Just..." she said. 

"I might start seeing someone just to irritate you." She had said a while ago. And now he knew she hadn't dressed up for him.

He dropped her off close to her house.  The drizzle had stopped. She got off and went without turning to see him. He asked the auto to take him home.

US

That night I had nightmares. I often do when something bad is about to happen. All of last night it had rained. Flashes of lightning lit the dark room. And that hadn't helped.

"Good morning my ambachehee." I texted her. "Good morning my rainbow." She replied out of habit. "Gobble gobble slurp, slurp, bite." I replied. She didn't reply. I washed my attempt at being cute down the drain with tooth paste. As I watched the water go down the sink, I knew it was over. I felt dizzy, staggered, held on to the basin, feeling weak. The phone rang. "Sir, we are all set for the shoot tomorrow. Every thing is going as you have planned." It was his manager sounding confident. He knew his boss would be happy at how efficient he had been. "Your assistants will assemble for a meeting at 10 today." he continued. "Thank you. I'll be there." I answered, trying to sound the composed, in-command captain of my team.

There was just one left for the project to begin. I had been jobless for close to a year now. Jobless because I couldn't make up my mind. They looked up at me, as one of the most brilliant directors in the industry. Anything I said or did, made news. I had to step carefully. I had taken my time, waiting for the right story. And I finally had it. I knew this would work. I knew I could make it a blockbuster. If only....

I wanted to hear her say it. And I called her. And she said it. She ended it with her customary "I'm sorry."  I was shameless enough to probe. To ask her how far it had progressed. Had they made love? She must have thought I'm an asshole. But she patiently replied "We kissed." I wanted to ask "Who took the initiative?" But felt I had degraded myself enough. Now I can only get baser.

A couple of days ago, her mother had called to check if she was with me. I told her she wasn't. I sent her a text to say her mother is worried and she should call her. She had told her mother that she was meeting me. She had sent me a text to say she missed me. And now I thought back about it. Was she sending me a kiss emoticon while she kissed him? Not very long ago, she was with another boy whom she admired. She saw the boy's hands and sent me a text saying she wanted to "play hands" with him. I had died then, as I began to die slowly now, once again.

I decided that I will now have to work on life support. "I'm going in to meditate. I don't want to be disturbed for an hour." I told my mother. I locked myself in the projector room. I collapsed as I began to shudder uncontrollably, crying like a baby. I grabbed a pillow and bit my teeth into it, trying to silence myself. I was bawling out loud, gasping for breath and crying again. I didn't know for how long. And the phone rang again. "Sir, we are all here. The list you asked us to prepare is ready." It was my assistant. "Excellent. I'll be there in 20 minutes. In the meanwhile, just call the art director and ask him to send the carpenter to tomorrow's location." I said, once more the captain.

THEM

He sat on a park bench. They hadn't spoken for a couple of days now. That morning the manager called to ask him if he needed a car. He had replied asking the manager to send the car by afternoon. That morning, his driver had gone away with his father again. He had found this annoying. He took an auto and picked her up from near her house. It was her exam. He would never forgive himself if she didn't do well. And they had sat in the auto and traveled to her college. He had begun to get used to autos now. 

She had spoken of him. And she had blushed. He loved it when she blushed. But something sank in him this time.

Last night he had got drunk and walked the roads at night, staggering and even falling like the drunks he detested. He had walked the night roads with tears in his eyes. The light from passing vehicles looked like blurry stars to his watery sight.

He had known what hell meant these few days. He had this continuous quiver inside him. The fact that he was doing a comedy didn't help. And the fact that his team looked up to him as this be-all-know-all hadn't helped either. He had pretended he was fine and for a while he even began to believe he was fine. But then, every time his phone rang, every time he got a message, his heart had skipped a beat. And the quivering had begun once again.

She had called him last night saying she couldn't let him go. She said she wanted it all back like it was before. "I want us back together." she had cried. He so desperately wanted her back.He couldn't die a slow death. He believed her that night. She is coming back to me, thank god, he prayed.

And now he sat at a bench in a park. She didn't have the conviction of last night. But she didn't want to let go of him either. "Will you at least stay till I complete my exams?" She said. He would kill himself if she fared badly because of him. "Of course I'll stay." He said. She didn't know it, but she was playing his executor. He felt like she was sharpening her knife, testing the wood on which he would lay his head for her to finish her job. And she would wait till she finished her exams. And then behead him. "Will you stay if I let him go?" She asked. "Would you be able to let him go, really?" He asked. She blushed. Even thinking of him made her blush, she wouldn't let him go. He knew. He smiled. He thought it will make it easy for her if he left now. She had her exams. And he wanted her to do well. "I'll leave him." she said. He stopped in his tracks. "Are you sure?" He asked her. "That is the only choice I have" she said. 

"Only choice I have" is how she put it. He felt guilty.  That evening they sat at another park. He asked her "Does he have enough money? Will he be able to take care of you?" She blushed and smiled saying "His father was a district collector of a big city."

"What stops you then?" He continued. "He's rich, tall, handsome." She blushed. "He is not you." She said. Now he really didn't know who the blush was for, any longer...

A few days later when they made love. He played with her hair and whispered "Mine". "I love you." She replied. Earlier she used to say "Yours and only yours." She ran her soft fingers over his cheek and said "You haven't shaved properly." His heart skipped a beat. Was she comparing him? She kissed him and said "Have you forgotten how to kiss?" His heart skipped a beat again.

MINE

He sat blankly at his terrace that night. There was a rumble in the clouds. He had so hated the rain till she happened to his life. And then, he would run out and get drenched in the downpour. Now the rains had come to signify the day that nearly killed him. He looked up at the sky. She was his again...